tribute to 2008

I can't believe that 2008 has come to its end. :') This is so sad, because the BEST memories was created this year. It feels like as though, it was just a few weeks ago when I went to Riyana's and celebrate New Year there. :|

Okay, this post is going to be a really really long post, when very little picture in it. :) So if you guys don't feel like reading some nonsense I am composing, butang x di paling atas, kanan itu mungkin berguna.

Okay let me start.

Like I said earlier, the year 2008 taught me a lot of lessons, in life, that consists family, friendship, love, career, EVERYTHING. I gain knowledge, bit by bit about all these things that act as a wheel in my life. Really cool la ok.

First of all, I'd like to say that my bond between my family and I have gone a lot stronger, although I've always been the REAL PAIN IN THE ASS towards my grandma, (I mean seriously) and being the black sheep of the family isn't the best thing to be. I mean, its not that I am down right the black sheep of the family, its just that, I show my family my real true colour. I am not afraid to fight. I'm not the best in the family. I'm the most outgoing, the most celupar, the most this and that. I outshine the most in the family cause of things that I do. My other siblings, they are just like me (only less) its just that my family doesn't know. They put a mask on their face at home. They don't show Mama and all what they're really like, so to all those oldies at home, they think that the rest are as good as angels from heaven. But shits about me, they know. Because I show. If I want something, I WILL get it. Get it? 

But as time goes by, I realize that my family is trying to do their upmost best for me, to succeed in life, after life, and such. The bond I have with my family now, is the bond that I do not want to lose, EVER. They taught me what life is about, how it works, and all those things that had happened, happened for a valid good reason. Mama, I know you've been stalking my blog, but I'd like to say, YOU play the biggest role in the house. YOU were the one who tell me things that will effect me in my daily life. YOU are my biggest motivator, Ma. Your words are sharper than knife. You don't need to go all physical on your children because your words are hurtful enough. I envy you. You know how to play with my mind, and others. You know how things are like to be a teenager so you understand how it feels like. I know I haven't been a really good girl lately, but THANK YOU for being so understanding. You are the best mother one could ever wish for (although you're not even my real mother) thanks Iman kau bagi aku pinjam mak kau.

I don't have a very good relationship with my real parents, but its okay. Things are getting better and we know how to contact each other (without my grandma knowing) and now. My siblings. I mean, my cousins, who I've been living with for the past 19 years. Iman, Mad, Adik, Baby. You guys are the best. I mean, this year, Katin sangat lah menggedik, I know. Nampak salah sikit je marah, mengamuk. Suka cari gaduh. But its okay! It spices our family! Impian kami adalah membina satu family band. Kelakar sungguh. Tapi tape. Iman, this year, kita jauh sikit. :( Although dua dua kat Melaka, tapi rasa macam jauh sangat. Damn you. Bawak bawaklah datang UiTM MELAKA. Bukan Bandar. But things are alot better. Iman jadi up sikit this year. :D

Next, friendship. I learnt A LOT about friendship this year. I gain some, I lose some. And ada yang I gain (again). Hm, early this year, I lost my best friend. As in LOST LOST TOTAL LOSS MACAM KERETA BARU EKSIDEN AND HANCUR YANG DAH TAK BOLEH NAK BUAT APA APA. I thought I will never find a friend like "that friend" but I was dead wrong. I found few really good friends along the way. As in, really good people. :) I met all sorts of people. And then again, I was stabbed at the back by one of those few "good" friends. Like, stab real bad. Cane? 

OUCH, thats all I can say. I lost few friends along the way too. But it happened for a reason la, I mean, it could be good, could be bad. :) But sayang la. Sigh. And dulu, I sumpah tak suka Nelza (sorry cakap depan depan) but now, look at how kamcheng we are. :D Sayang doh Nelza! And people like Linda, yang I tak pernah terfikir I will lepak with masa zaman zaman sekolah dulu, sekarang dah boleh dibawa melepak, so sweet. Oh yeah, my classmates for the last two sems was a real bitch but in the end, we patch things up. All those shits happened because of ONE person. ONE BLOODY PERSON. Penat aku.

Then few weeks ago, some of "those" who ran away from me, came back. Its a good thing la, but some of them treated me like a doormat. Tapi tape. :) I thank IMAN IMAN IMAN (my brother) DAENG NABILA, AL AMIN TARMIDZI, FATIN AZALEA AZIZAM, KHAIRA AMIRUDIN, KALSOM ALIAS for sticking up to my nonsense. Fatin, after all those shits/ditching I did to you, and you can still accept that, I sangat lah menyayangi anda kerana itu. 7 tahun kita berkawan, and still counting yeh? :D Khaira, and Amin, thanks very much. I know I wasn't the GREATEST friend but you guys were. :) Sayang gila. Fawwaz, thanks. :) Bill, you're the best friend I can ever ask for. I love you, very very much! Sorry tak mention semua, ramai sangat. Tapi each and one of you ada ada mark kat my heart that will NEVER be erased. Cane pantat celaka lahanat lahabau binawe korang dengan I pun, I will still remember.  Each and one of you play a role in my life. And vice versa. It wouldn't be as happy if you guys tak pernah jejak dalam my life.

Okay enough about friends, now, my career. My studies in UiTM Melaka, is going up up up (except for my Photography, down the drain) but its ok. Although I memang balik countless times this year, tapi itu dah jadi routine rasanya kot. Tah la. Then like, this year, I couple dengan my DSLR, Bawal. :D Hahaha! Thanks to UiTM, if tak, Bawal and I would have never met! :D Ahahahah. And thanks to Bibo, M, Azfar Hadi and Faye, and some of those Photography Community, yang mengajar saya sedikit sebanyak tentang camera. :) Ahaha. If not, I will never ever ever ever ever know how to use it. Oh dan bila 2008 nak habis, baru la jumpa si Haneef Ismail yang terer mengambil gambar tapi malu malu anjing sikit sampai amik gambar pun nampak hantu. Aish cane ni. But its okay. Thanks to Iman, kawan dia kawan I, kawan I kawan dia. Get it? 

Then, here comes my singing career. Although I get paid more dalam bidang photography daripada singing, but, really, I think I have to start from the bottom la. It is not easy to melukiskan nama sendiri di persada seni (chewah) but really, this is my passion, and I've learnt a lot la in this industry. (MAMA IF YOU'RE READING THIS, I'M SORRY) When I told Uwan and family about performing here and there, they will disagree on me, decline on me, reject on me. They will say "For what?" especially Uwan, my grandmother. So at one point, I stopped telling them about my performances. Bila Daniel dan Man suma datang rumah nak practise bawak Djembe, I will say that kitorang saja saja nak jam dalam rumah. Or if ada performance, malam tu, Dan akan cakap kat my grandma yang bawa I pergi makan dinner ke keluar shopping ke apa apa. BUT TAK PERNAH SEBUT NAK PERFORM. Padahal dah berjuta juta kali I perform behind her back. I'm sorry Uwan, but MUSIC IS MY PASSION. :) Macam laut dan pantai? Boleh dipisahkan ke? So daripada Kakak sakitkan hati Uwan, baik Kakak diam je and tak beritau kan? And IN my family, only IMAN shows his support on me! Like really really show his support. I love him for that! Iman is my number one fan (cheh sumpah tak malu) and Iman dah pernah melalui too many suka duka with me. :') I mengaku, I taleh hidup, if adik I sorang tu tade. He was with me, when I first performed dekat Lepaq cafe. Lepaq cafe membangkitkan kehidupan I. Although they don't pay, but wtf Abang At! You're the best la! Abang Ikhsan yang suka jam randomly, nobody can play the keyboard like you. And yeah. :D 

See its not easy to build up such good bond with outside people because of these. Its really not easy! Sorry la for those, who along the way, yang telah di tindas oleh I when it comes to performing ni. Because I really hate it when PEOPLE STEAL MY SHOW. I mean, if the show is for me, then for me la. If I need you, I'll call you. If I don't call you, don't offer yourself. Kalau nak menolong takpe, ni kalau nak limelight, tu memang tak dapat lah. Susah la nak cakap kan. Damnit. Sakit hati. Tapi tape. :) Itupun I kena macam macam. Again, for those yang baru nak naik tu, go find your own ways nak naik. Cari your own contacts. I might look like I don't care, but I really do. Serious. Stealing people's show is a huge offence to me. If I feel like giving my contact once, that doens't mean you can come to me all the time asking for jobs and shows. Please? Sesapa jangan terasa please, friendly reminder je. :D

Last but not least, I'd like to thank LINDADOOOO HAMZAH for mengenalkan I with The Inggits! Kanak kanak riang yang berasal dari KDU. Daniel Roslan, Jonathan Inggit, Hazim Kz and Abdul Rahman yang selalu membuat lawak bodoh untuk menceriakan keadaan yang ketat. Tak lupa juga dengan Jazli! Those awesome musician who brought the confidence in me and menjadikan satu band yang sangat sedap didengar. They complete me la, senang cerita. :) AND to Maryam! Yang selalu memberikan job yang best best untuk I, thanks so much. And other people yang melimpah ruah memberikan saya perform di wedding, macam KHAIRA! And Wegra, dan bermacam macam lagi. This year paling best wa cakap sama lu. And off topic sikit, saya suka bila Naf bawa Adik dia lepak dengan kami. So macam, my sister macam "kononnya" ada something with her brother. :D

Senang cerita, 2008 has been a real wonderful year for me. Sangat wonderful. I love 2008. I don't want it to go, but good things has got to come to an end. :) And I welcome 2009 with all my heart. Therefore, based on my results, I dah berjanji akan melakukan satu perubahan diri by 2009. Means, this January, bila class starts, jangan terkejut tengok saya. :) And other people too. Jangan terkejut, I won't tell what it is, but eventually, you guys will know. :D

I guess this will have to end here. I just love 2008. :D 2008, I'll be missing you. You grew really fast. AND AND THIS IS MY LONGEST POST without picture. Plain words, WOWIE. Memang takda orang akan baca. :D Tapi tape, lagi best. Love youh! 

Honestly what will become of me

don't like reality

It's way too clear to me

But really life is dandy

We are what we don't see

Missed everything daydreaming

Flames to dust

Lovers to friends

Why do all good things come to an end

Flames to dust

Lovers to friends

Why do all good things come to an end

come to an end come to an

Why do all good things come to end?

come to an end come to an

Why do all good things come to an end?

Traveling I only stop at exits

Wondering if I'll stay

Young and restless

Living this way I stress less

I want to pull away when the dream dies

The pain sets in and I don't cry

I only feel gravity and I wonder why

Well the dogs were whistling a new tune

Barking at the new moon

Hoping it would come soon so that they could

Dogs were whistling a new tune

Barking at the new moon

Hoping it would come soon so that they could

Die die die die die

Well the dogs were barking at a new moon

Whistling a new tune

Hoping it would come soon

And the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day 'til the feeling went away

And the sky was falling on the clouds were dropping and

the rain forgot how to bring salvation

the dogs were barking at the new moon

Whistling a new tune

Hoping it would come soon so that they could die.