dear father

A father is defined as a male parent of an offspring. The adjective "paternal" refers to father, parallel to "maternal" for mother. According to the anthropologist Maurice Godelier, the parental role assumed by human males is a critical difference between human society and that of humans' closest biological relatives - chimpanzees and bonobos - who appear to be unaware of their "father" connection.

The father-child relationship is the defining factor of the fatherhood role. "Fathers who are able to develop into responsible parents are able to engender a number of significant benefits for themselves, their communities, and most importantly, their children." Involved fathers offer developmentally specific provisions to their sons and daughters throughout the life cycle and are impacted themselves by their doing so. Active father figures have a key role to play in reducing behaviour problems in boys and psychological problems in young women. For example, children who experience significant father involvement tend to exhibit higher scores on assessments of cognitive development, enhanced social skills and fewer behavior problems. An increased amount of father-child involvement has also proven to increase a child's social stability, educational achievement, and even their potential to have a solid marriage as an adult. The children are also more curious about the world around them and develop greater problem solving skills. Children who were raised without fathers perceive themselves to be less cognitively and physically competent than their peers from father-present families. Mothers raising children without fathers reported more severe disputes with their child. Sons raised without fathers showed more feminine but no less masculine characteristics of gender role behavior.

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You were never there for the past 20 years.

So why NOW?

Stop thinking about whats wrong with me. Start thinking about where you missed things and pick up the pieces that you've left behind.

But now. That is impossible. To me, you're just a man called father. Nothing more nothing less. I don't think you deserved to be called 'Dad' anyway. You are nothing like a father. You might be my biological father, but the truth is, Atuk, is my Father, my HERO, my pillar of strength. Uwan and Atuk are my parents. The one that stood up by me all along, training me to be a decent young lady, althought it wasn't a success, but look at the bright side, I am what I am now, because of them, my grandparents.

Anyone could be a father. But not every father can act and behave like one.

I gave you 20 years worth of time, to show me some love, touch and care. But all you know is to be proud of me whenever I achieve something in my life. Saying all those bombastic things as if you were the one who've been struggling your sweat out trying to strut my way up and claim "THAT'S MY DAUGHTER," well guess again.

It wasn't you. It was never you.

I'm your daughter by blood, but it seems as if, I'm closer to my aunts than I am to you. You don't even know my birthday, you don't know what are my favourites, you weren't there for me to take my report card from school, you weren't there during my performances, most of all, you were never there whenever I NEEDED YOU! A father figure! Never!

Things will never be the same again. Don't expect it to be the same again. I don't know you anymore. Never have, never will.

Love,

A daughter.