Forty Seven / Keeper

I always tell myself (more like reminding myself) never let people read you like an open book, though I know, I am pretty predictable most of the time. I don't write every single thing that's happened before, and that is to protect myself. To make sure they won't use my own words against me.

I have the tendency to just say something out loud without realizing the effect it will have on me (or anyone) beforehand. When I say things without thinking, which I do most of the time, I know I'd be saying the wrong things at the wrong time. Sometimes things I say aren't even related to one another. It sickens me, because it is definitely not an attractive trait. So I learn to keep myself reserved.

I used to blog about what I do everyday. Those were the days where I thought I was pretty content with my life. Then I stopped blogging about it. You know what took over?

Life did.

I am still very happy now, today, as I am typing this. In fact, I am happier than I was when I posted nuts before. I realized that that was me when I was pretty much a child. Was overwhelmed by emotions and rage due to my young age.

Honestly I almost puked when I read my own posts from the past. It's like taking a stroll down to memory lane. Nauseated. What the heck was I thinking?! Parading myself and let people learn me? Gosh Bedah. Thanks for growing up!

I guess life really did took over.

Sometimes I wish some people could just chill the duck down, calm the skip up and live life to the fullest. Those who have not found the serenity that can put their mind at peace should really just, chill. The world, God forbid, is not going to end tomorrow.

There is just more to life than whining endlessly crying the shit out of your life when you could've done more than that. It's just a phase, yes. But it's no longer a phase if it keeps reoccurring. Going back to square one over and over again. It's like slipping on the banana's skin repetitively although it'll skid you. It's more like, trapped within your own self. Get out of it. Why draw people away from you when you know you only have more haha friends than your true ones.

I am sometimes reminded by the past too. But why should I let it haunt me? Freak the crap out of me? What good will it ever do to me? What can you do? You can't change the past. It's written.

History is called history for a reason brah. Don't grieve on it. Learn from it instead.

Life is a learning process. Shut up, Bedah.