changing, changed.

A friend of mine
once said that she'd give
her right arm to have a family like mine.
And her left one
to have friends like mine.
And I guess I can understand why.

One particular friend I have, or had, or whatever.

He knew how to listen
He knew how to laugh
He knew how to be there when I needed his nags
He knew how to dissapear when I needn't.

I loved that about him
I loved a lot of things about him

But now it seems

He used to know how to listen
He used to know how to laugh
He used to know how to be there when I needed his nags
He used to know how to dissapear when I needn't .

Which I never really wanted it to happen.

Oh well.
Sometimes I miss him so much
that I feel as if
I'm too caught up with missing him
Its like I'm almost ready
to break apart

But I realised
Each time we talk
Each time we laugh
Each time we walk

We're just a few good steps
To our goodbyes.

Which I never really wanted it to happen.

I'd say I'm doing reasonably well
But you know I'm not

I usually see him
being so damn friendly to
everyone
but me

and
I feel -
what do I feel?

Nothing
Nada
Zip

Zero.

Yes you shut me up
all right?

Call me pathetic
or childish
or someone not eighteen
or whatever that's similar to it
but what you said
was just so ouch.

Just like how you felt.

Sorry
for the pain that I've caused
for the words that I've spat
for the things that I've done wrong
and for a lot of things that might hurt you intentionally or un.

Apalled
is what I feel at the moment
Not seeing me
is what you asked for
YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND, querido
for once.

Which I never really wanted it to happen.