Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Sixty / One Month

Yes. Today. Today is Atuk's 31st day in alam barzakh. Exactly a month ago, around this time, we were at Tanah Perkuburan Seksyen 9, Kota Damansara. People at home were busy preparing for tahlil that same very night.

I miss him. I could still feel his presence you know. I swear. Yeah. Call me crazy. I sleep with his favourite t-shirt, which is as good as a bantal busuk to me now.

I don't know if this is crazy or what, but I actually talk to him, update him with my life, verbally. In the car, before I sleep, after prayers. Especially when we go to his second home. Yeah I don't like to call it 'the grave'. Scawyy. 

When I visit him, I'd start with..

"Assalamualaikum. YO ATUK! Whazzaaaaaaa.."

Sumpah. I'm not the only one. My four siblings too. :) 

It was never easy. But that way is easier for us, I guess. I don't find it weird, not at all. Yes, we are trying to move on. But in a way, he's not dead to us. He's still alive. 

Only in a very different dimension.

Al Fatihah.

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