tak pernah

Aku menyanyi malam tadi.

Di atas pentas bernyawa Lepaq.

Belaian Jiwa tajuknya.

Armand memetik gitar untukku.

It went well at first.

You were there, sitting with Abang.

Sitting.

Staring.

Sniffing.

Intro, verse, and first chorus.

Of course sedap didengar.

Ku jeling Armand.

Dia tidak memandang.

"Terimalah lagu ku jadi teman hidupmu tuk selamanya," 

I sang.

I looked at you.

You were still doing the same thing.

Sitting.

Staring.

Sniffing.

My voice twitches.

"Kau tahu betapa ku sayang padamu,"

Suddenly a rush came into me.

My eyes were filled with tears.

I wasn't crying.

At least not yet.

The crowd went quiet.

They stared at me.

I stared at Armand.

He looked up, straight into my eyes.

He was crying already.

Sambil memetik gitarnya.

I couldn't handle it.

My voice broke.

Pitching ke laut.

Tears came out.

"Hanya takdir menentukan ia,"

I see you.

Crying.

Looking at me.

The crowd went silent.

I couldn't look at you.

I couldn't look at Armand.

I tried looking at Marilyn Monroe.

But it's too far behind.

I finished the song.

Badly.

For the first time.

I'm sorry I cried.

That's my whole point.