Forty / Martyr

So. It's 3:10 in the morning, and despite the amount of pills I took just now, I am still wide awake. I am supposed to be all drugged and drowsy, sound asleep and wake up for sahur in 2 hours time, but no.

I am still wide awake.

Let's just carry on with neverending rants la okay. My biggest worry at the moment is - baju raya. Yes. We are approximately six days away from Eid and I am baju raya-less. How's this even possible? Once upon a time, I make sure I'll get one baju kurung on the first day of Ramadhan. In the middle of Ramadhan I'd go to some bazaar and buy another 2. By the end of Ramadhan, I should have at least 4-5 pairs already.

Total amount of baju raya I have for this Syawal is...

Zero. Nada. Nil. Zip.

Well I'm looking at the situation in a very positive way. Maybe I have grew wiser (at least a little) and I came into my senses and my conscience whispers ever so loudly in my right ear in a husky voice saying "Bedah.. Listen to me. I am your conscience and I am telling you that.. You shouldn't spend that much on your baju raya.."

Why? Answers are as below;

a) Usually, I prefer my raya baju kurungs to be heavily designed. Yeah call me mak bonda. Mom used to call me that all the time. Okay so with that kind of design, I can't be wearing that to class! I'll only wear them for weddings and similar events.

b) There are many people out there, who are not as fortunate and what they do is they keep on recycling their baju raya. If they can do it, why can't I? In fact, tak mati pun if I don't get myself any this Syawal.

c) I don't need that many baju rayas anymore! I am no longer twelve. Ah sudah lah. You guys pun beli baju raya banyak. Tak baju kurung, seluar jeans pun baju raya apa. Hmph.

d) I tend to hoard. It is definitely not healthy. I still have my baju raya zaman tok kaduk. Tuhan tak suka orang membazir. Beli tak ingat dunia, cuba pakai sikit, brah!

e) Bedah is being Bedah, a lazy bump. Walking to the car during Ramadhan takes half of her sahur away. Please. With the current weather, mhmm. I'd rather stay in my room and scroll down instagram patiently and hope for the idea of what to have for iftar will somehow hit me.

See what I mean? But... With the new designs and all, and the rising of that Jovian designer dude, how can I resist? People actually queue up in front of First Lady from 5am just to make sure they'll get the best baju kurung ever? Woi tak sahur ke?!

But then again, Zalora is selling Jovian kurung designs. Which means I don't have to walk to my car and burn half my sahur, or wait in a mosh in front of a boutique from as early as 5 in the freaking morning. All I have to do is choose the design that I want, pick the size, pay online, and BAM! It'll all be mine!

Nuh! Not with Zalora, bros!

I'm no longer a fan of Zalora! They are no longer in Bedah's Good Book. Besides that super bad experience I had with them, they have too many suspicious activities. Poorly managed, inconsistent, inefficient and a lot more other negative traits. I want to wear my baju raya on the first day of Eidul Fitri. Not on the first day of Eidul Adha. If you know what I mean. *wink*

I'll find a way. Eventually. Whatever, really.

It's 3:37 in the morning now, and here I am, lying on my bed with the lights off, typing nonsense away with my phone.

I am STILL wide awake.