Sixty One / Mengawan

This month is the mengawan month for many. Yeah maybe because it is already the end of the year, and of course, everyone is getting married! I have invitations for all 5 weekends of this month. Should I feel left out? 

If I were to ask myself this question a few months ago, I'd say 'yeahhhh maybe I am a little down with the fact that everyone is getting hitched blabla'. But if you ask me now, I'd say.. Crazy? Of course not! Why the hell should I feel left out hakela. Hahah.

Getting married is not just about having sex legally with your spouse. It is about taking responsibilities. Huge ones. The dugaans will be more than just being a couple. Do you think you can handle looking at the same face for the rest of your life? That face would be the last face you see before you sleep and the freaking first, when you wake up. Every freaking day.

I'd go crazy.

It is also about how two souls can work together as one, as a team, in fulfiling each other's needs. Of course, they (or the husband, at least) must be financially stable. If you don't have money, then what are you going to feed your spouse with? Pasir? Angin? 

Makan angin pun kena guna duit dol, sekarang.

I know some people who got married early. It's okay if you can manage. If you're more than ready. But I too know some who has already filed a divorce dah. I don't want to be like those 'some'. I want to get married, of course. But only when I am super duper ready.

My mother, Normala Harun, told me something meaningful yesterday. Something I'd never forget. Of course, we were discussing about weddings, feelings, hearts and souls in the car.

"Kakak, one day when your boyfriend proposes to you (InsyaAllah), you have to ask yourself. Are you ready? Is this what I want? Can I see myself marrying this guy right infront of me? Can he cope? Can I cope? Your life will change 180 degrees before you know it. No more lepak at night, no more this and that.

Marriage life is not a fairy tale. Especially when you don't have or make your own money. How do you want to live happily ever after if you don't have money? I'm not saying you need to have billions of ringgit, but you need to have enough money to survive. It is important. You don't need to be fanned with money, but you need money."

No she's doesn't want me to marry some Datuk or whatever. What she's trying to say is "Do not marry a free loader, do not marry an umemployed, do not marry someone who doesn't know how to take responsibilities."

She continued, "Marry someone who is capable. Who is willing to take care of you in and out. Who can be responsible. Who loves your more than you love yourself. Never marry someone who loves you based on lust. Because lusty love doesn't last!"

I love my Mommy. What she said was nothing but true. It also got me thinking, why the rush? I'm young. But of course, not getting any younger.

But then again, I love weddings. I love every single detail. From the nikah, dress, pelamin, decoration, dress, shoes, even the henna on the bride, every single thing.

InsyaAllah, one day. When the time is right, you guys will be invited to my wedding pulak. Maybe around this time, somewhere next year. (Aminnnn ya rabbal 'aaaalaminnnn) Hihuhahihek.

Assalamualaikum.